I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
We don't have paper towels so I microwaved a spinach/egg sandwich thingy wrapped in toilet paper. Toilet paper. so that's how my day started.
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
Told him I just wanted to be friends. He responded, "The best marriages are born from great friendships." Please come get me.
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