My Blind Date Arrived. She looks like something I'd draw with my left hand.
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
It's like trying to pry an octopus off you. Except the octopus speaks English and can get drunk.
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
I just need a text that says "put that food down bitch" and then maybe I'll lose water weight through tears
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
Randomize
