Hi Jason, it's Liz. We dont need you to pick us up anymore. I dont care if you will be here in a milisecond. And you should know im wearing really amazing shoes.
Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
So I went to have a snack...can you please tell me why there's a condom in the hummus?
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
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