so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
im at a party in sweatpants, slippers, and a basketball jersey from the eighth grade, 10 bucks says im still getting laid
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
Randomize
