so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
i love how i spend my mornings exploring my phone to see what i did last night.
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
He said he wanted to make me his Twinkie, "filled with his delicious cream." ABSOLUTELY 100% NO YOU MAY NOT REPEAT ****NOT**** GIVE HIM MY NUMBER EVER EVER EVER. Please confirm receipt and full comprehension of this message.
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
I'm sure nobody at Walmart was wondering why I was wearing a glittery tutu and needed $300 changed into small bills
Just got back from a Walmart run. The music went straight from Kid Rock to John Phillip Souza. If that doesn't scream 'MURICA I don't know what will. Happy 4th!
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
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