go do what you do best...puke behind churches
I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
Come scavenge bits of tuna out of my chest hair
Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
I have not brushed my hair. I'm wearing a yoga hoodie. I look like I slept in a gutter somewhere. Today is going to be a good day.
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
Randomize
