Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
Naked Twister starts at high noon
Hey, it was your idea to keep her occupied with the barscanner on your phone.
you didnt need to give her a fucking sharpie. there are handmade barcodes everywhere. including my cock. fucker.
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
Found my paycheck. It was in the freezer
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