Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
For some reason I knew you were going to smell like strippers and burritos when I hugged you.
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
He's over here like "remember those pics you sent me a couple years ago? Those were hot." And I'm like "remember talking about what we were gonna name our kids a couple months ago? That was hot." Therein lies the disconnect
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
Sometimes self-care is taking a shot of vodka and moving on.
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
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