So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
Why is there a living, breathing cow on your front porch?
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize
