My key broke off while I was turning the key. I can't pull the broken key out. Not only am i locked outside, so is the rest of the building.
people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
What did he say?
NOTHING. GODDAMN HIM AND HIS MAGICAL PENIS!
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
You're breaking my sexual little heart
So, then you thought it was a good idea to dress up like the Hamburglar, buy a bag full of McDonalds hamburgers, go to Burger King and throw them at everyone while screaming "HAMBURGLAR!". At that point there was no stopping you.
Randomize
