Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
Randomize
