he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
I balled in the shower for 20 minutes, rolled up to the meeting late looking like a gremlin, and my one night stand was standing there in a suit
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
Randomize
