Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
Randomize
