kristin has been a bad kristin
i really like this girl i slept with last night
you ask her out again?
yeah but she said she is busy next weekend getting married
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
I'm pretty sure I just overheard my boss call his sperm precious metal...
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I'm about to drive his drunk ass home and he spits on my car. Before I can say, "Dude, what the fuck?!", he puts his finger to my lips and goes "shhh, its in the past."
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
I've had more lap dances than hrs of sleep since Thursday, this is why you're planning all three of my bachelor parties
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
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