she kept yelling 'call me bella'
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
Said he made a playlist for taking a shit. only two songs on it are the Star Wars theme and "America, fuck yeah" set to repeat.
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
Randomize
