If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
She told me to "stuff her hole like a build-a-bear". I was so drunk I didn't even think that was weird.
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
Saturday dinner is funfetti cake and merlot. Singlehood has come to this.
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
Can you please venmo me emergency money? i have no pants.
Puked in my purse on my Uber ride home last night. Safe to say it's not a good idea to beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
i don't know what it is about you being around kids that makes me want to screw your brains out
That is the creepiest and also the sexist thing you've ever said
i think it's like a sexual celebration of not having kids
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