Stephanie. Problem. I think if I had met Murphy before Ben I would have fucked him instead.
Don't worry about your Murphy feelings. I may have fucked him no matter what.
my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I recorded his drunk dial calls. My personal favorite was the one that began, "grab the bull by the horns and fuck his cock."
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel sorry for the person who's phone number is 704-1776 cause from now on I'm giving that number to every guy I never wanna talk to again. Happy Independence Day
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
Randomize