She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
If I showed up at your door with pizza and a bottle of tequila wearing nothing but chaps and a fireman helmet, would you send me away?
So I was putting on a condom and looked to my right to not make eye contact, she said did you just look at the American flag while putting that on. I said this one's for Team USA.
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
In other news, my ex fuck buddy is a surprisingly good wingman.
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
Randomize
