I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
Sometimes I wonder how different my life would be if I didn't share a weekly margarita with my mom since i was 12
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
When you went off to sleep with that guy that looked like a dirty Jesus and I asked why all you had to say "trying to keep Christ in Christmas" and left. The Vatican called, you're going to Hell.
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
I am texting my ex and my future boyfriend while eating fish and chips with my current boyfriend... How and when did I become such a terrible person???
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
Randomize
