Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
I need a hug and tequila
I'm sitting next to a milk crate full of tequila right now
This is why we need to live in the same city again
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
I have two bottles of emergency tequila stashed under my desk at work.
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
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