Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
Why is everyone judging me for telling the cat a bedtime story?
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
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