found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
My mother just made an innapropriate gesture with a cucumber while grocery shopping at whole foods... Then she said "bitches love cucumbers" and all this time i thought i was adopted
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
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