Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
It's too hard to jack off and hold an ipad at the same time
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize
