You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
First thing I heard on the radio when I got in the car: "humans and dinosaurs used to live happily together"... I need to stop listening to Christian radio...
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
I've started bribing my dorm's security guard with cookies so that he doesn't tell all the boys i'm hooking up with about each other.
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
Randomize
