i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
Fourth time I had to be woken up in the line of Whataburger in two weeks. First time my shirt was free of vomit.
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just baby talked my cat. While getting ready for bed... Before 10 on a Friday. I'm officially a cat lady.
I found you laying in a field of grass near the trail I jog on in the morning like a drunken Bambi.
You know your life has gone downhill when someone has to preface your night with "don't get locked in a porta potty"
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
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