Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
The cab driver was nice enough to let you finish your beer in the car, but you crossed the line when you started to pee in the empty bottle
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
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