yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
i just called corporate taco bell to ask about the life span of a chicken burrito.
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
There is a check pinned to the wall at Connor's. It's a check I wrote for $1,000,000... To you. Clearly you made out well on St. Patrick's day. Thanks for being too shitfaced to remember to grab that.
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
Randomize
