go do what you do best...puke behind churches
The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
My mom asked what the mark on my neck was - I told her I burned it with a straightener.
She believed that the monsterous hickey on your neck was a burn?
well, not really. but then i reminded her that my sister has yet to take that pregnancy test and she conviniently forgot about my hickey
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
Randomize
