turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
I'm wearing the jeans from casino night. Tell me why I have a napkin in my pocket that says 'dont fear me'? I'm hoping it was just a coincidence.
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
She tried to beat the waitress over the head with a bread stick because one of her martini olives was missing a pimento. All while screaming "IT'S GAMEDAY BITCH"
Olive Garden will never be the same.
Got stoned and went to Walmart. For some reason a preacher walked up and asked if I knew the lord so I just yelled "I CAN FEEL HIM IN MY VIENS" at the top of my lungs. he left after that.
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
Randomize
