I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
Just saw a woman walking a golden retriever and a vacuum down the road. I miss downtown.
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
So vagazzling was a success
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
Um. I just realized I still have a beer in my purse from last night. I'm at work. I am so classy.
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