Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
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