Went home with a 29 year old from the bar. Life lesson: 9 year olds stay up late sometimes
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
She slapped a big dramatic bandage on my arm and people started buying me drinks...I plan on wearing a full body cast tomorrow night.
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
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