please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just chugged whiskey at 7 AM because going to breakfasts at Brendas doesnt seem right if Im not real drunk. I feel like when Brenda takes my order she can tell Im drunk and will take care of me.
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
What's the point of bringing a Jack and Coke to work if my boss is just gonna piss and moan about me day drinking again?
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
Randomize