Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
Last night you sang a duet with a gay man posing as a straight man posing as nicole kidman; your life lacks neither color nor texture:)
New brilliant plan: invite two random okcupid girls to the same bar at the same time, have them compete
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
Just saw a man downtown with a cat just riding on his shoulder like a furry parrot. He may be homeless, but I think he's your soul mate.
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
I just ate the lyft drivers bacon cheeseburger. Well fuck me this night escalated quickly.
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
Randomize
