Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
You called me and said "Aidan's unconscious" to which he said "I'm conscious, I'm conscious pilot"
He was filled with the holy spirit. And vodka.
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
Randomize
