So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
Yo I'm texting you while getting a bj. I know, I'm the man. Told her I was texting my mom in the hospital.
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
He got me an interview at his law firm and his boss asked him what he had to say about me. His response "He dates CRAZY bitches."
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
Randomize
