STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
Just found the cutest bag of coke under my bed. I'm going to get fucked up and bleach the cat vomit out of my sheets.
Things in my bed this morning: a Waffle House hat, a finding nemo DVD, sharpies, my graduation robes and an adult diaper. Did we play drunk scavenger hunt again?
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
You asked for 4 things: your phone, your wallet, your keys and your denture. I stopped asking questions.
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
Randomize
