we have pet lesbian snakes
You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
Last year I got a dildo in the mail on my birthday. Today it was just a credit card bill. Sadface.
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
Randomize
