I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
Binging muscle relaxers because when ur 33 you can no longer SHAKE IT LIKE A POLAROID PICTURE for 2hrs w/o consequences. Fuck you, Age.
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
Why did I wake up with a skeleton in my bed? Is it from the lab?
Oh crap, that's where it ended up. Yeah, don't ask.
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