If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
I'm already too high to be publicly presentable. I just looked at myself in the mirror without my sunglasses. Debated contacts. Said aloud "But I'm nothing without my sunglasses."
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
He sent me a picture of a gas station condom and said "we probably shouldn't use this but if I was to impregnate someone on accident I'd want it to be you"
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
If I had your ass I would rule the world
Randomize
