That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
anyone who texts me today gets a complimentary picture of my mangled foot. starting with you.
ewwwww wtf when you left last night you were fine?
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
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