its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
Ordered a large pizza and definitely just paid the cab driver in pizza slices. I'm glad there's someone out there that's just as fat at heart as we are.
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
That’s all I need in life: vibrators, butt plugs, strawberry lube, and sour gummies
Randomize
