I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
Seriously, I would hit on barney the dinosaur right now if it meant I was going to get laid.
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
My most recent midlife crisis involved eating a doughnut in 30 seconds but taking 5 minutes to do half a shot of whiskey, then deciding I wasn't going to finish it.
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
You drunk-dialed me and asked me to describe my burrito
It's 5am and I come home to you naked on the kitchen table and 3 people I never saw before fucking on the back porch ... and my weed gummy worms are gone. fuck you I'm taking your mom's offer
Idk if I want to put a bra on
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
I have a number of responses, ranging in content, tone, and maturity. Choose your destiny...
Randomize
