sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
My dog ate my bag of weed. Thats not the easiest call to the vet to make.
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
It's 3 am and my parents just came up the driveway in a limo. They didn't leave in a limo. I'm scared to even ask.
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
I must have drunkenly masturbated really loud last night, cause my roommate and his wife wont look at me
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
Randomize
