I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
I found you laying in the kitchen with a bottle of vodka and a slice of bologna on your face. You said you were having a spa day.
they asked me about my neuroscience major and I said 'the brain is the outer space of the body' and passed out. it appears my ivy league education is not going to waste
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
Randomize