Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
I was asking the bouncer, "if I fall will you catch me?" which then turned into "if I jump off the roof will you catch me?" He said no.
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
Randomize
