I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
You're like the fucking Mozart of sexting.
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
I wanted one last NYC adventure and I got it. Now I just have to figure out a polite way to wake up the pantless former stripper illegal Russian immigrant street violinist chick currently in a vodka coma in my bed.
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
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