you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
We are planning a drunk snapchat treasure hunt for tomorrow, and the treasure is his penis, this is a game I'm not willing to loose.
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
He's so drunk that he's ignoring me and just doing what my cat does.
Oh god he's trying to eat cat food... I don't know if I should stop him or continue laughing....
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Randomize
