R you on birth control?
you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
23 Roommates Share Secrets Their Roomie Thinks They Don’t Know
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
29 Cringeworthy Situations People Realized They Shouldn’t Be In
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
Caught in the act of lying. Lipstick literally all over his dick. He tried to make some story about darkwing duck or some shit but failed to realize he is a complete moron.
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious