Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
no you cant smoke seaweed
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
These Attractive Criminals Took Sexy Mugshots That Made Them Famous
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
This Girl’s Unbelievable Catfish Story Will Make You Rethink Online Dating
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
Had a dream I dropped the L word and immediately threatened to kill myself
You probably shouldn't be having nightmares about expressing affection
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?