those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
Cops showed up at 4 am to address a noise complaint and she called them pussies for not doing shots with us.
thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
23 Bisexuals Confess The Biggest Differences Between Dating People Of Each Sex
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
These 25 Ruthless Teachers Embarrassed Their Students
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
One three hour marathon fuck session and now she's divorcing her husband. Should I get business cards made?