i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
I keep getting texted pictures of my husband with other men. I can't figure out if he wants a divorce or a threesome?
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
Jelly. This is your "are you still alive" text. Any response will do.
Hey I found a cat!
Being drunk with magicians is fucking mind blowing. This Asian guy just made a platypus appear and disappear. This is not a drill.
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
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