i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
Randomize
