He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
Randomize
