I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
You're always adorable, but when you're drunk, you're like Chia Pet adorable.
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
Oh my god. I slept with my boyfriend last night. It was wonderful.
And when I say my boyfriend I mean my electric blanket. Because that's the kind of life I lead.
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
Someone keeps hanging up bible verse posters in the bathroom stall I masturbate in at work.
There was already gay porn open on my laptop with a tiny carrot cake, a bottle of water, and a note saying "I love you, Sober Me."
Drunk me just hits it and quits it.
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
Randomize
