The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
I feel like everyone would be happy with that as a present too. "Oh you got me pussy for Christmas?! How'd you know?!"
And I was chasing apple pie moonshine (provided by cops) with bud light limeys. In a golf cart, wearing a tiara.
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
Wait, tell the rest at happy hour. I wanna be able to interrupt you with my loud cackles and stupid questions.
A 5 day bender that ended with refusing to pay my bar tab before I left the city. I offered to send them a selfie so they knew to never let me back in.
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
I have a hunchback of notre dame journal from when I was 6 wherein sits a diary entry that reads "saw liar liar today. Carrey's best yet" and that's all.
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
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