Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
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She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
You can't break up with me. I brought you to see Beyoncé.
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
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