Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
I JUST HAD PHONE SEX. WHILE TAKING A BATH. FOR AN HOUR. EATING A PLATE OF BURRITOS. TOP THAT SHIT.
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
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