when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
You're the only true friend I have, if true friendship is based off who would be there for me at 4am during a boxed wine crisis.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?
40s are totally the cure
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
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