So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
I guess I'm just gonna have to learn to live with the fact that I'm the guy who takes his pants off at the party and tries to start an orgy
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
Randomize
