that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
I woke up this morning to my house being turned into a bad European dance club at 8:30am. Do you know what "UNS UNS UNS" sounds like at 8:30am? Murder. It sounds like murder.
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
I wonder how horrible I look to customers. There's cuts all over my face and I can't talk.
What are the cuts from? Head-butting the bathroom light fixture?
Honestly that's best case scenario.
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
